How to Eat a Turtle (if You’re a Tiger Shark)

Jaws. That’s almost enough said. That movie was enough to make a generation of children terrified of swimming in the ocean. How better to capitalize on our society’s continuing and continuous fear of sharks than the Discovery Channel’s yearly Shark Week?

That’s right, it’s back, and it starts next week. Actually, it starts this Sunday, July 29 (Is that next week? I can never tell), and runs through August 4. They’re going to be airing a whopping 18 hours a day (9am to 3am) of shark what-not, including, I’m told, eight all-new specials.

Okay, I warn you, the video below is not for the timid, the weak-stomached, or the turtle-loving (even the teenage mutant ninja kind). In this video (posted by the Discovery Channel, don’t think I went out searching for crazy video) a tiger shark eats a turtle. That’s right, if you hit the play button, you’ll get to watch a tiger shark eat a turtle. Man, do I wish the clip had some foley work, cause that chomping seems hellacious. Chompity, chomp, chomp, chomp.

Did you click? Did you have the strength of will and the fortitude of belly to click play? I did. Loved it. Listen, if you go to Youtube you can see a ton of other clips the nice folks at Discovery Channel have uploaded for your viewing pleasure (the one I chose I think to be among the most mild), but I’m not going to embed them in this article because it seems gratuitous (unlike the turtle soup you just witnessed).

Of particular note in this year’s viewing schedule is Ocean of Fear: The Worst Shark Attack Ever which goes into depth on the U.S.S. Indianapolis, which, if you’ll recall from Jaws, is the boat that Quint (Robert Shaw) was on when he got his first taste of sharks (or, more accurately, vice versa). That bad boy airs opening night at 9pm and is even narrated by Richard Dreyfuss (yes, of Jaws fame). As Quint put it oh so many a year ago (you really need to try and do a Quint accent to get the quote right, even just reading it), “Japanese submarine slammed two torpedoes into our side, chief. It was comin’ back, from the island of Tinian to Leyte, just delivered the bomb. The Hiroshima bomb. Eleven hundred men went into the water. Vessel went down in twelve minutes. Didn’t see the first shark for about a half an hour. Tiger. Thirteen footer,” and his tale went on from there. Now though, you can hear Richard Dreyfuss go into depth on the whole thing with the help of several experts in the field (or, if your prefer, ocean).

Like sharks? Then, by all means check out Shark Week, or, click play again on the video — if you have the guts.

Categories: Uncategorized


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