Today, I'd like to tell you a story, a true story. The day before Thanksgiving I was at Costco. In a woman's cart nearby I saw a Wii Fit. My wife (trust me it was all her) was desperate to find out where in Costco the Wii Fits were hidden, after all we were standing in the video-game section and there were certainly none there. The nice lady informed us and I ran off like a mad man, not wanting them to disappear before I got to them.
It took a few minutes of searching, but I found them – someone at Costco figured that it was a good idea to put them past where people actually pay for things (I'm sure there was a logic to it, but even thinking back on it I don't know what it was). I was at that moment faced with a choice. In front of me were no fewer than two dozen Wii Fits. Costco was charging a mere $70 for them, and a quick check of eBay (via iPhone) indicated that a new Wii Fit was going for $125 (Amazon was sold out too). If I were to buy several I could sell them online and more than pay for my own.
I quickly grabbed a Wii Fit and stood there contemplating how wrong it might be to grab all two dozen remaining Fits and sell them at a massive profit (it was essential to grab one just in case I was stampeded when others realized where the Fits were). In the end I opted not to buy more than one Wii Fit. Sure there was a lot of money to be made, sure there was nothing really illegal about getting and reselling the Wii Fits (perhaps some taxes would have to be paid), but it just didn't feel like the right thing to do. It wasn't the Christmas Spirit (it may have only been the day before Thanksgiving but I like to get into the spirit of the season early).
Last night, I realized that I made the right decision, or, as Bill Cosby said “I told you that story so I could tell you this one.” On The Office, Dwight bought a ton of Princess Unicorn dolls knowing that they were the hot gift of the season and then sold them to people who simply had to get one for their child for the holidays.
A little bit less than two years ago I was all worried that I was Dwight Schrute. Tonight proved that I'm not! Happy days are here again! My not being the Wii Fits means that I'm not Dwight Schrute! If I were Dwight I would have bought the Wii Fits; I would have made a small fortune; I could have paid for every Christmas gift I had to buy this season and more. But, I didn't do it. I stepped back from the brink; I stared into the abyss and turned back. I won.
Sure, I know that the most fun way to kill a zombie is by stabbing it in the brain with a stick, but that's more of a universal truth than a Schrute-ism.